SIGH

dont know why this would bother me as much as it does....i mean i dont care that MASTER goes out with HIS other slave or anyone for that matter, but when it is a BDSM event, i have said before i would like to go so that i can also learn and make friends within the lifestyle, i dont mean i need to go to every event with HIM and her just feel like im an embarrassment or the third wheel when and if its decided i get to go.
last time i went i am thankful and MASTER was wonderful.. but i guess HE didnt realize how it made me feel that noone remembered me and someone had asked "are you part of this family"... like they think MASTER only has one slave and seems to be the only one that gets to go to events with MASTER.
i dont go anywhere with MASTER, out that is, like to an event, a movie, dinner, picnics etc etc.
i dont mean to complain but if it is always going to be that im left out especially in this lifestyle...does that mean HE is embarrassed about me, or just doesnt want to protect me while out? i mean MASTER teaches me and takes care of me but i have NO friends within the lifestyle i can talk to or hang out with.. i had my sista slave but obviously something has changed and we barely speak.
like i said i dont care HE goes out without me, but it seems like its all the time..especially when it comes to BDSM events and get togethers...

guess this is where MASTER would say that i am thinking too much...

but also guess since ill be moving to florida and will be away from MASTER for some period of time i want to be able to go do things with HIM, spend as much time as i can with HIM get a stronger bond and just be near HIM, b4 its time for me to go to florida. a lifetime with HIM is worth being apart for a few months or more, but it isnt going to be easy even if its only HIM holding me.

i have told HIM a few times that i loved HIM, i keep wondering will i ever hear HIM tell me HE loves me too.? a girl needs to hear those 3 words..i know if HE ever does its as a MASTER would love HIS slave.